A Girl's Just Gotta Vent

Don't say I didn't warn you...

My entire life has revolved around the military. I know I am not alone in this. My dad was in the AF for 15 years. He retired early when I was 10. My military life did not end when he retired. All of us, his dependants, kept their IDs up-to-date. My mom would shop at the Commissary every two weeks like clock work. Mom and I used the gym 4+ times a week, every week, when I was living at home while Brian was deployed. My mom still goes to the gym every weekend without fail. I was raised in the church on base and will be married there in just over 3 months. Our entire family is forever entwined with the AF base in our hometown.

I know there are people/families out there who don't embrace the military the way my family does. To each his own, truly. If you'd rather brave Wal-Mart for your grocery needs, then please do. If you'd rather live off post/base, be my guest. That's not the way I was raised or choose to live my life.

What is the point of all this rambling? I'm getting there, I promise.

Doesn't every girl have a thing for a guy in a uniform? Any uniform? Just me? Ok. Whatever. Well, seeing as I was raised around and in an AF base, I was exposed regularly to guys walking around looking all nice and clean cut in their uniforms. I was kind of raised to find them attractive. Well, not just to find them attractive. I was raised to see them as I saw my dad. I was raised to see them as strong and dependable. As a great spouse and father. As everything I could want in a partner. No, I don't think every military man possesses those qualities. In fact, I know every military man doesn't. I just wanted a guy like my daddy. That's where I was coming from.

Now, sure, it would have been great to find some AF guy in my hometown, fall in love, get married, and live the life my mom had lived years before. That did not happen to me. I also did NOT go looking for it. I never went looking for it. I think you are sick and weird and delusional if you go looking for it. Who goes looking for love? If you're gonna end up a military wife, then by golly, life will send you a military man.

When I met Brian he had long hair, was going to school part-time at night while working full-time doing manual labor. He wasn't even 20 and still living at home. He was NOT a guy in a uniform. I loved him anyway. I fell in love with him anyway. I pictured our future together and it did not include camo. 8 months into our relationship he expressed an interest in joining the Army. I supported him because I loved him, not because I wanted him in a uniform. I also knew that my background with the military would make me a more understanding and sympathetic partner for this new chapter in his life. I stood by him and watched him leave for 4 months at boot camp. I stood by him as he left 4 months later for a 15 month deployment. I married him before that deployment knowing that we would be apart for 2 Christmases and everything in between.

No one knows what this life is like besides the amazing, strong, fearless women who are walking miles in my shoes (and love to blog about it!). My mother can sympathize with me and understands more than most, but she wasn't married to an Army man in a time of war with year-long deployments.

I take it personally when some stupid little girl out there is actively searching for a relationship - of whatever kind - with a military man. What I feel about this can't even be put into words. Well, it probably could, but it would get ugly really quick. That's not somewhere I want to go with my blog.

I typed all that nonsense up there to say: if you happen to fall in love with a military man or if you're already in love with someone who wants to join a military branch, you will find an amazing life full of wonderful opportunities and amazing people. You will find a place in this blogland with supportive, creative, funny women who are all going through what you're going through. This network of women - in blogland or otherwise - will not accept or condone a military gold-digger. At least keep your digging plans to yourself. Seriously.

I could keep writing, and writing.....and writing, but I'd be going in circles. There are always exceptions and I'm not lumping everyone into one category and I'm not making judgments based on anyone in particular. It's just something that's been bothering me for the last couple days after reading a blog a couple days ago. Nothing personal, really, just think before you put something out there on the internet. You just might offend some people.

S.