I'm bad at blogging.
I got married. And my husband is getting deployed in 2 months.
Sometimes the fact that I won't see him for more than a year, that I won't know when or if I'll talk to him from day to day, that I'll have no idea how he is doing or where he is - it all hits me really hard. I'll be sitting in class or watching tv or driving and I'll get really sad. I have a feeling it's going to be much harder on me than I want it to be or I thought it would be. I just can't imagine that much time without him by my side. I won't be able to call him at the end of my first day of substitute teaching to tell him how it went. I won't be able to call him when something goes wrong and I need the sound of his voice to make me feel better. I really hope I'm strong enough.
This semester is really weird for me. I want it to be over so I won't have to deal with school anymore or Dr. Hell. At the same time, I need the next 2 months to crawl by so I can drag out the last moments of knowing my husband is safe. And through all of that, I'm wanting weeks to go by quickly so I can see said husband again. He's coming home next weekend and I just want this week to go by so quickly so I can see him again.
I wanted to write and now I'm not sure what I wanted to say.
I want a vacation. I think I'm going to try to talk my family into LBI next summer. That'd be something to look forward to.
I'm still adjusting to this whole being married thing. Calling Brian my husband is still extremely weird. Thinking everything is ours now is weird too. It's all just weird....but in a good way.
Ok, I should be productive now.
-S.
