Thirteen.

That was the temperature this morning at 8:30. The windchill? Five. Where do I live? Oh yeah, West Texas! I'm not sure if I can remember another time when it's been in the low teens here. The temperature back in LA last night at 10pm? Seventy. It was twenty here. For once I actually kind of wished I was back there, but then I remembered how hot our bedroom gets on warm nights like that and I was glad to be here cuddled up in a toasty bed.

It sleeted most of the night last night so all hard surfaces look like they've been touched with snow. Most schools were cancelled again today. Keith still has to drive across town for a walking class and Mom made her way - slowly, I'm sure - the less than one mile to her office. I'm not sure I'd want to be going anywhere on the roads quite yet, but I bet we end up somewhere this afternoon. I know B wants to go look at handguns with his friend and I might tag along.

Now, ladies, what is the general feel for guns around here? I was not raised with them anywhere near me. We never had any in the house. We were an anomaly for this part of the country. We aren't originally from here, tho, so blame it on that. Anyway, I don't see the need. B grew up with them, likes them, and finds them to be marvels of engineering. I just don't understand why you'd spend hundreds of dollars on something to go to a range and shoot things. Seems like throwing money away sort of. Never in my 23+ years have I wished I had a gun around. I know there are people who swear by them and even carry them on their body in public (that's another rant for another post). Am I the minority? Let me know.

Ok, I guess I should go put myself together. As comfortable as my PJs are, I should try to not be a lazy-butt and put some clothes on.

S.

We Made It...

...Just in time to be stuck in the house. We got here a few hours ahead of some nasty mist/sleet and freezing temperatures. Lucky us! A few pics from our drive yesterday:

^^It was foggy for more than half our drive. Luckily it never got too bad and it made the landscape look rather...dreamy.

^^As this "mountain" was coming out of the fog B wasn't sure what it was. No, he wasn't crazy, it really did look freaky.

^^This is how Tine spent some of the trip. He was either curled up on the floor, sitting up looking out the back window, or laying down with his nose pointed toward the sky leaning on the console. Love him!

I was supposed to be getting my hair cut today (in 10 min. actually), but I already called and rescheduled for Friday. I wasn't even sure if my hair lady would have driven into town since it's a good 20-30 min. commute for her on icy highways, but she was there! It would have been a decent car ride for me to get to her and I just do not want to test my luck on the roads. So here I sit with my PJs still on. I think B is getting a little bit of cabin fever so we might venture to his parents' house to go through his stuff in his room. I'm not crazy about going anywhere, but I don't want him to feel like he's wasting his leave.

I hope everyone affected by this crazy cold front is bundled up with the ones they love and if you're not freezing your butt off like I am: I'm sooo jealous. Enjoy it for me.

S.

There's No Place Like Home

I really don't mind living here. I'm so glad my husband is home and I love having my own home. None of this stops me from missing home. There are just certain things that can never be duplicated in another place.



Things I am looking forward to while back home:

• A belt stretching dinner at our favorite Japanese restaurant. Mm...my mouth is watering just thinking about it!
• Getting our engagement pictures taken - finally! I am really nervous and anxious to see how our photographer captures us.
• Getting my hair cut. I've been going to the same lady since I was 15 and I'm determined to not need to find a new hair person here.
• Going to the gym on base with B and/or my mom. I adore the gym at home. It's almost brand spankin' new and I feel completely at home there. I can't wait to shake these fat-cow feelings.
• Big family dinners with both of our families. We haven't all been together since B was home in May. We all get along so well (thank God!) and have a blast whenever we're together.
• Shopping with B for our photo session. I am dying to supplement his meager wardrobe and the engagement pictures are the perfect excuse. I wouldn't mind finding a couple things for myself as well.
• Listening to Tiny's nails click-clacking all over my parents hardwood and tile floors as he chases a person or a toy or the cat.
• A lunch date or two with my mom. We used to meet up at least once a week to get her away from the office and me out of the house.

I'm sure I could think of more and I'm sure more things will become evident as time passes while we're there, but that's my list for now. I've procrastinated enough on showering and getting laundry started.

S.

Friendless

Tomorrow is B's redeployment ceremony. I am pretty much not going. Why? Because I don't have anything resembling a friend here. I'd thought about going alone, but I got an email from the FRG about what that would entail and, um, no. I'd have to park somewhere with some name I don't know that is supposedly near the Commissary and then get on a bus - alone - and ride to the ceremony site - alone - and then watch this ceremony that would probably be really neat to see, but I'd be ALONE. B thinks it's all stupid and overdone and swears he doesn't care if I go or not which makes me feel a smidge better. I'm disappointed tho.

I don't make friends that easily. I tend to be shy anyway and being in an unfamiliar place just exacerbates that. I don't really need friends, but it would be nice. If I had a friend then I could go to the ceremony tomorrow. If I had a friend then maybe I'd work out more cause she'd go with me. If I had a friend maybe I wouldn't drive B crazy by being around all the time with nowhere to go and nothing to do. I know I haven't been anything close to proactive about making friends, but I don't really know where to begin.

I'm just bummed.

S.

Things I Love: Part 1

I was thinking the other day how I always just ramble about my day or some other random thing going through my mind or happening in my life. It seems repetitive to me. My life itself is repetitive so I wanted to try to change it up a bit. I posed the question to myself "What do you love?" Well, I love my husband and my dog and my family...but that's not really what I meant. There are so many things that I own and use everyday that I absolutely adore. Why not devote a whole post to each thing? I might as well share with others (the two of you who read) and commit my faves to live forever on the world wide web.

Without further ado, here is what I love today:

That is my everyday flatware. I picked up a box of 8 place settings at my local Kohl's back home while B was deployed. I got a super good deal on it and watched it sit in my closet at home until I finally moved here. This was one of the few splurges I made for the house before moving here. I needed flatware and figured I'd treat myself (and B as well) to something nice and of good quality and then just not register for it for our wedding like I normally would. I'm a pretty classic gal so of course the flatware I chose is pretty simple.

Ever since I gleefully unpacked each individually wrapped piece I have been falling more and more in love with the set. The name of the set is Colonial Boston (I should totally get myself to Boston now). I have put these through many a cycle in the dishwasher and they still look pretty as a picture. I also got a set of service utensils with my set and the serving spoons are a perfect size. I am even contemplating ordering 4 extra place settings to bring mine up to 12. Between the two of us we go through the forks and spoons quicker than I'd like.

On the Oneida website they have so many styles to choose from. It's really mind boggling. I'd highly recommend their everyday flatware. I'm not sure about their fine flatware, but I'd be willing to bet it's just as nice. Check it out if you're bored or in the market for new flatware.

S.

Today is History.

January 20, 2009 is a day that will live forever in American history whether anyone likes it or not. Whether you voted on November 4th or not. Whether you voted for him or against him.

That is a very cool thing, my friends.

S.

Busy Bee

So far today I have made pancakes, washed dishes, cleaned the kitchen, changed the sheets on the bed, put a load of laundry in the washing machine, got dressed, & did a mini stretching/crunches/light weights workout. I love Love LOVE when I get things done. I am much more productive when Brian is at work, that's for sure. I think that since B was gone for so long and we still haven't settled into a rut-like routine at home I find it extremely difficult to do housework while he's home. I also think that because I am not working - making housework my full time job - I should do my work while he is doing his work. Maybe this is totally ludicrous and will pass with time, but for now, I work when he works and vice versa.

This weekend we are going home for a couple weeks. B can take 30 days for block leave, but he isn't going to take it all. He needs to make sure he has plenty of leave so that isn't a sticking point when he needs time off for the wedding this summer. I think 2 weeks will be plenty of time. I think if we were there any longer B would start going a little batty. We are getting our engagement (can I still call them that when we're already married?) pictures done Feb. 2nd while we're home. I'm a little nervous about it because I desperately want some fabulous pictures to plaster the walls with around here. Well, maybe not for that reason, but we don't have a whole lot of pictures of us together. We've been apart alot of our relationship and B isn't a huge fan of taking pictures (typical, right?). Plus, I love the style of my photographer and want to see how she is able to capture our relationship on film. I'm sure I'll post some of the finished product when I get them.

I've been living here for about a month now and realized that it really isn't ever winter here. Even back in Hometown, West Texas there would be days-long cold snaps that would even produce snow from time to time. I know there was one cold week here while I was home for Christmas, but I am under the impression that that was a fluke and rather rare. The temperatures here are really quite steady ranging from mid-50s to low-70s everyday. I think living here during the winter months wouldn't be a bad way to spend the cold half of the year. Now, I'm sure summer is a whole different story. I am actually dreading summer here. Back home it would get HOT. I'm talking 100+ degrees hot for days on end. That kind of heat is totally doable because it is dry heat. I'm talking 0% humidity. Here? Yikes! I know what it's like to be around here in the winter with 96% humidity. I can't even imagine that coupled with 96 degree temperatures! I've lived through a couple days like that in Florida at Disney World I'm pretty sure, but I'm betting I'm bordering on miserable once May/June arrives.

I'm kind of sucking on this branching out into blogland plan. It gives me anxiety and when that happens I tend to shut down and avoid. Well, I've been avoiding...for days. It's like I have a random bold day here and there and I become fearless and then BAM back to reality of being ridiculously insecure. Gosh, at 23 you'd think I'd be a tad more sure of myself. At least I've got my family and my dog - they love me!

S.

Oh Gym, I Need You

I was doing so well before I moved here and Brian came home. I went to the gym anywhere from 4-5 times a week for about an hour each time. I developed ab muscles I didn't know I had and totally toned my body up. I didn't lose any weight or anything, just made everything look a little bit better. My clothes looked better and I felt better. Since I've been here, I've gone to the gym once about a week or so ago with Brian. The gym here is very different from the gym back home that I'm used to so I still don't feel totally comfortable going alone. I know I would and could if I really wanted to, but it's also hard to get there during the week when we have one car right now and Brian takes it to work every morning. I definitely prefer the gym in the morning after breakfast and that just hasn't really been possible. At this point I just want to get back to Abilene so I can go to a gym I'm familiar with to get myself jumpstarted.

I was 100% planning on going this morning - we even went to bed early so we could get up earlier this morning than we had the past couple days. Well, I slept horribly (I blame the pizza we had for dinner last night) and have been feeling sorta sick to my stomach all night and morning. I'm afraid to move off this futon much less go walk up hills on a treadmill for half an hour.

To say I'm bummed is an understatement.

S.

A Very Boring Saturday

We buckled down and tried to put up curtains in the living room today. They went up without too much trouble, but I overestimated the length of the curtains so now the rod needs to be lowered a good 4 inches. I think I like the curtains though which is good.

I, like many females my age, love to spend money. I have to admit, however, that I am getting pretty sick of spending. It seems that any errand we run involves money being spent. I just feel like we're spewing money out of our fingertips or something. I know everything we buy - for the most part - is for the house (curtains, TV, desk, etc.), but I still can't help feeling like we're overdoing it sometimes. We are sitting pretty financially from B's deployment and I don't want to waste that or buy things we really don't need just because we can. I've always been a saver and this spendspendspend thing we've got going on lately is kinda messing with me.

Another thing that's messing with me are all the loose ends in the house. I want to feel like each room I walk into is finished. I think the bathroom upstairs is the only room in the entire house that I can walk into and not feel like I need to tackle a box or make some major layout or decoration decision. We still need so many things (couch for example) so finalizing room layouts and planning art placement keep getting pushed back. I like when things have a home, a place. I sometimes have a sneaking suspicion that this house is stressing me out more than it should.

Yesterday we took another roadtrip to Lake Charles in search of a TV. We left Best Buy with a good chunk of money added to our credit card and a giant box in the back seat. We had a delish lunch at McAlister's followed by some productive shopping at Target. We wer hoping to score a TV stand, but they were sold out so we left with a desk I had been eyeing (and was on sale!). Right now the monster TV is living on the desk until we can get the TV stand we want on sale. I was a tad bit nervous about this big TV purchase, but so far I am happy with it. It took awhile to set up and figure out all the color/tint/contrast/brightness settings, but it's fun having such a large screen to watch movies and TV on. I'm sure once we find a blu-ray player that also upconverts normal DVDs we'll really start getting what we paid for.

Tonight for dinner we're having frozen Chicken Cordon Bleu with Alfredo Noodles and Pillsbury dinner rolls. Nothing super fancy, but it's easy and yummy. We also need to finish the chocolate cake I made last week. We'll both be treating ourselves to a large piece tonight after dinner to get that dang plate off the counter.

I'm into book 4 of the Twilight series. I have the compulsion to read it super fast, but I'm trying to drag it out because I don't want it to end yet. I know that Breaking Dawn is the last in the series but I wish it could keep going. I've enjoyed reading all the books so very much. I love reading book after book, page after page about the same characters. It's like watching a soap opera for years or something. I will be very sad when I have to say goodbye to these characters that I've fallen in love with. At least I have the movies to look forward to!

That is all.

S.

My late New Year's resolution?

I read quite a few blogs everyday. The vast vast majority do not know I exist much less that I am following their lives. I have decided that I should stop being afraid of what other people will think of me and say "hi" instead. I am going to try to leave a comment everyday on a blog that I enjoy reading. I am going to do my best to not expect anything in return. I am doing this as a challenge to myself and as a thank-you to the courageous and thoughtful writers that come into my home everyday.

Here goes nothing...

S.

Good Tuesday Morning

Here I am again coming to you from our sagging futon in the living room. I've been sitting here for an hour looking at furniture online. I've found the desk and bookcase I want from Target and as of right now it's in stock in Lake Charles so I'm hoping to pick that up this weekend and save the shipping. Brian is supposed to get a 4day this weekend and if he does then I think we'll be running all over this state on the hunt for a TV and couch. Should be fun and rather expensive.

I had submitted a work order for our garbage disposal, upstairs tub, and refrigerator yesterday and just got the phone call to come work on them. I think we solved our own fridge problem by turning the ice maker off. I have a feeling it was leaking into the freezer causing ice build up that would then melt at the little opening to the fridge and slowly drip down the back of the fridge til everything was soggy and the bottom was a swimming pool. We still need some attention to our garbage disposal that quit working about a week after I got the house and the tub upstairs has been dripping - well, more like running - for like 5 days. Good thing I don't pay for my own water. I kinda wish Brian were here so I don't have to deal with the repair buy by myself, but I've done a million other things by myself over the last year...what's one more?

Today I need to make a cake and bake bread in the bread machine. Tonight is left over night and for once we have a ton of leftovers. We'll be eating mac-n-cheese for every meal for days I think. I have a feeling Brian'll get mighty sick of it before long. Ha!

I guess I thought I had more to say than this.

S.

Normal

One week ago today Brian and I had just woken up and were saying goodbye to his parents and sister. We got dressed and headed to the PX early not realizing that at 9:30 on a Sunday the place wouldn't be open yet. It was actually a pretty pointless trip. The whole reason for it was for Brian to get a haircut and by the time they opened and he made his way there they were too busy for him to want to wait.


It's a week later now. Things are kind of calming down. We don't have to be touching every second of everyday. We spend several hours a day doing our own things. I guess we're getting back to normal. Ironic that I don't even know what normal is to get back to. We're finding our normal. How about that?

Everyday this week Brian has had to be at work super early, sometimes before the sun has even risen. I would stay in bed for a couple hours after he left getting some last minute ZZZs. Today I woke up early and he's still in bed. He deserves it, I'll let him. I probably would have slept later if my stomach wasn't bothering me. I guess a week of eating more than usual without going to the gym and then eating out last night and having a screwdriver when I came home has messed with my system.

Speaking of yesterday, we had a fun day. We checked out the gym around 9:15 which was much needed on my part. I can feel the burn in my legs and abs today. The gym isn't what I am used to, but it will work. I am seriously thinking about getting a mat and some weights to do my ab stuff at home. Everything is in one big room at this gym - they don't have a separate stretching room to do ab stuff in - so I felt a little conspicuous on the mat by the wall. The treadmills are the same tho so that was mildly comforting.

After the gym we came home, ate lunch, and started taking showers and getting ready for our date night. Originally we were going to go to the local steakhouse - Wagon Master's - but Brian nixed that idea because he thought it would be too crowded. He probably just didn't want to run into anyone he knew. Ha. So we decided to go to Lake Charles for some Target browsing and dinner out somewhere. I decided to dress up for the occasion so I threw on my cap sleeve black/gray/gold dress from Kohl's with rhinestones on the waist and a deep v-neck that I have to camouflage with a cami underneath and some 3/4 length black leggings. My new GB shoes from Christmas and scrunched hair finished it off. After having a "fat week", I felt pretty good yesterday.

I drove to LC and it was pretty uneventful. Brian dozed the entire way so it was a quiet ride. I found where I was going easily and pulled into Target with a smile on my face. The Target down there is really nice and new - much different from the old Target I am used to at home. We picked up a few things (flips flops for both of us, a measuring cup, cake pans, a bread knife, gum, and a couple of rugs for the kitchen) and then headed down to Bed, Bath & Beyond which was in the same plaza because we still had about 20 minutes to kill before it was an acceptable dinner hour. At BB&B we just picked up a 1/2 off Yankee candle in a fall scent (because, really, what do I care if it's not spiced pumpkin season anymore?) and a couple of plain salt and pepper shakers. We've been making do with the big salt container and pepper container that the spices come in at the store and at $2.50 a piece how could you go wrong? I fully plan on upgrading to nicer ones come August, but for now these will work just fine.

We talked yesterday about what we still needed to buy, how much money we wanted to spend and what we would do with what was left over. When we go home at the end of the month we have some bank realigning to do. We need a savings account desperately and I really need to close out the account I still have open with my mom. I meant to do that the entire year B was gone, but just never did. There's still a few hundred bucks in there that could certainly buy a nice desk. After much back and forth about TVs and if we needed a new one I think we've decided that we are indeed going to take the flat panel plunge and get one in the next couple months. That will move the heavy beast in the living room upstairs to the extra room to be joined by the futon when we get a couch.

I was laying in bed thinking last night about the bills we have to pay and how B's paychecks will cover them and realized that almost every bill comes out before the 15th which will put a heavy burden on us for half the month. I'm pretty sure I can mail/pay my student loans after the 15th (I need to check due dates) which would greatly help. We really don't have too many bills which I am grateful for, but it's still closer than I would ideally like. It's also hard because his pay won't level out for a few months so I really have no clue what a "normal" paycheck will look like. I'm glad I like numbers and dealing with such things.

And suddenly it's almost 9 o'clock. I guess I'll wander around the internet some more and make myself some oatmeal. I want to walk the long path in the woods today with B. Maybe instead of going to the gym? We'll see when he gets up and take it from there. I know also on the agenda for today is to clean out this living room and rearrange it. All the boxes behind the futon are either getting unpacked or moving upstairs so I won't have to look at them anymore. B is going to break down Tiny's crate and stick it in the storage room. I hope I can find a set up that I like in here. It's kind of been stressing me out.

*Side note: Tiny just bounded upstairs without me. Hopefully he's not pissing B off too much by sticking his cold, wet nose in his sleeping face.

Ok, this is plenty long enough. Toodles!

S.

If You Want a Good Laugh (For Mom)

If the video doesn't load or work.
S.

A Look Back: Welcome Home Ceremony 1/2/09

I don't want to trust my fragile mind to remember that day forever, so I'll write it down instead.

Before this ceremony, my favorite memory was picking up B from the airport for his R&R in May. Of course, I have fond memories of many things that happened before that, but I can play the airport scene over and over in my mind and I never get tired of it. It could have been in a movie. That's a story for another day, however. Now, my favorite memory is the entire welcome home ceremony. I know that this will not be my last welcome home ceremony, but this was my first and I went into it rather blindly. Ok, the story:

Friday, January 2, 2009.

My in-laws (FIL, MIL, & SIL) had arrived from TX the night before. When we went to sleep the official time for the ceremony was 1:15pm. By morning, the time had changed to 2:45pm. Guess we had another hour and a half to kill that afternoon. We all showered, got dressed, ate breakfast and then lunch. Well, I didn't really eat much for lunch besides graham cracker sticks. I had purposely been avoiding the thought of B coming home in my mind. I had no idea what to expect. I was afraid he had changed or I had changed or that we wouldn't be the same together anymore. I had also learned how to live alone for the last year. Would he fit into my life?

B texted me around 2 saying they had just landed in Alexandria. Now, I know that the drive from Alex is one hour and if they were just landing at 2 then there was no way they'd be on time to their 2:45 welcome home ceremony. He offered to text me when they'd been on the road for 30 minutes so we'd know when to head to the ceremony, but I told him not to worry about it. I had been obsessively checking the website with the ceremony times and his had not changed. I told him we'd head up there like we planned and wait as long as we needed to.

We loaded up in both cars around 2:20 and headed up there. I made a point of taking two cars so B would have a good 15 minutes ride to process everything before he had to be social with everyone. The ceremony was taking place in a gym used for youth sports that I had never seen or been inside before. We walked in and it was a gym alright. Along one long wall was about 6 rows of wooden slide out bleachers (ya know the classic gym kind) with 5 rows of chair in from of them. The gym floor had been covered with a big blue tarp thing and there was a large open area in the middle - presumably where the gyms would eventually end up. There were two screens playing a video montage of pictures with music on a continuous loop. Every flag for every state was on display as well as Old Glory herself.

There were people everywhere. Of course there were more women than men and there was an abundance of children of varying ages. We weren't totally sure where to sit so we just headed to the opposite end of the gym from where we came in to be closer to the entrance the guys would come it. We sat on the 3rd row of the wooden bleachers figuring the height would help us see. At 2:45 a guy got on the microphone and made this announcement: "The guys have just left Alexandria. The ceremony will start in one hour." A collective groan rippled through the crowd. We hunkered down for another hour of waiting. Of course I had to pee at one point so all 3 women headed to the luxurious bathroom (HA!) with a whopping two stalls. I used a nice drizzle of hand sanitizer after that little adventure. SIL and I had fun observing others' clothing choices while waiting for the minutes to tick by.

The time somehow went by rather fast. Before I knew it all the guys in uniform were being rounded up for parking lot duty and everyone who was outside was sent inside. (There were alot of people who thought they were so special that they could meet their guy outside and wouldn't have to wait inside like the rest of us.) That's probably when the butterflies started. We thought it was only a matter of moments before they burst through the door. We were wrong. They played a video of the guys getting off the plane in Alexandria. It would have been really cool if all the guys weren't backlit so they were just black blobs. There was no way in heck I would have been able to pick my uniformed husband from anyone else's uniformed husband. It was pretty much torture watching it and there were a TON of guys getting off this plane! It finally ended and the moment I had waited 400 days for was so very close.

I don't even remember now what they said, but this song I'm pretty sure is by Toby Keith started playing and the doors burst open with a flood of sunlight and man after man looking handsome in their ACUs. Everyone immediately jumped up shouting and clapping. I ended up on top of the bleacher in front of me to get me as high as possible without blocking anyone's view behind me. I clapped the entire time even when others had stopped. Every single man in that room deserved my clapping. After a couple rows of guys I leaned to my SIL and asked if I'd missed him cause I hadn't seen him yet. She reassured me that she hadn't seen him yet either. Finally on the 4th row of guys (the rows stretched the length of the gym) my SIL spotted him. Somehow - luckily for us - he ended up on the front row so we could keep our eyes on him the entire time. He wouldn't look up. I sorta knew he wouldn't Some guys were looking around trying to find their families. B's eyes were hidden by his cap the entire time. Everyone was called to attention for the National Anthem and then some guy - couldn't tell ya who he was - gave some speech about something. I assume it was about the guys doing a great job, etc, etc. We had all resumed our seated positions at this point and I was kind of settling in expecting a reasonably long ceremony. I was wrong.

This guy who I don't know who he was talked for maybe a minute or two and then said "This concludes the ceremony. Families, GO FIND YOUR SOLDIER!!" I uttered some profanity, grabbed my SIL's hand and took off. I knew exactly where he had been and it would be a little bit of a treck through people and chairs to get to him. By the time we burst through the first row of chairs, the careful rows of soldiers had collapsed and I was suddenly surrounded by men in uniform. I had a moment of panic. I was afraid I either wouldn't find him or I'd lose him in the sea of camo. SIL spotted him again through the smallest of spaces between people and I beelined for him. He didn't even see me coming. He looked kind of sad and lost. I launched myself on him and locked my arms around his neck for dear life. I didn't care if he wanted to let go. I didn't care who was watching. I wasn't letting go. When I finally released him from my death grip I realized I was crying. Not crazy sobbing crying, just tears slowly streaming down my face. I turned to my SIL and found her crying as well. We then started backtracking trying to find my in-laws that we had quickly left in the dust a few minutes earlier.

We left the gym, took pictures, collected B's bags and headed home. We had a couple days of enjoyable times with his parents and just thoroughly enjoyed each other. Work has started up again for B so I am alone at home for hours a day, but it's ok because I know where he'll be every night - with me.

I'm sure with time my memories of that day will become fuzzier, but I am convince that I will never forget that feeling. There isn't a word to describe it. Those 2 minutes between the order to find our soldier and throwing my arms around his neck were utterly exhilarating and thrilling. Almost - just almost - makes the whole stupid deployment worth it.

S.

Update

Here I sit alone on this rainy Tuesday morning in Louisiana. I have Unsolved Mysteries (ya know...that old show) on the TV, but I'm not really watching it. I've wasted the last 30 minutes reading blogs and checking my myspace. That's important, right? Ha!

I have a rather lengthy list of things to do and people/places to call. I swear I'll cross some of them off by the end of the day.

So far things around here have been really good. Don't get me wrong, it's been quite an adjustment to be living with someone instead of alone, but it's also been rather nice. So far he's eaten whatever food I've made and hasn't complained. I've happily cleaned up after him, washed dishes, made the bed, and kept the house looking decent. I must admit that since he's been here I've been less productive. Maybe it's because when B is home I don't do as much house work as I ordinarily would. Maybe it's because I'm used to having 24 hours a day of alone time and since he's been home I've had about 2.5 hours. It's like when he's gone to work, I use that time to veg out. I don't have to think or talk or anticipate his needs, I just sit.

Ok, I'm getting off here. There are much more productive things I could be doing and I'd like to have something to show for the few hours I've had alone here when Brian gets home.

I still can't believe he's home.

S.

The Calm Before the Storm

All is quiet in my house this morning besides the clicking of the keys as I type and Tiny's random sigh or stretch. I guess none of my in-laws are early risers. That or they are sleeping off their looooooong drive yesterday.

This is my last chance to write something, anything, before the craziness begins later this afternoon. The website still has Brian returning at 1:15, but they haven't updated that since yesterday so I expect it to be tweaked later this morning. I had expected the weather to be raining and/or cold today and it is neither. The rain seems to have been pushed off until tomorrow and today's high is set at 73. It's January. Where's the cold weather? Anyway, I'm toying with wearing the $6 shirt I got at Kohl's when I was home. It's short sleeved and accentuates the smallest part of mid section. I'm not in love with the shirt, but it's just a shirt. Brian won't care - or probably notice - anyway. I'll peruse my closet once again, just to be sure I haven't missed anything.

Last night wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. It was odd to see my bean bag totally deflated under the weight and pressure of my parents-in-law. I'm hoping I can fluff it up this morning so Brian can understand it's enormity and not wonder what all the fuss was about.

I hate this part of having guests. I don't know when to get up or if I'm making too much noise. Normally - especially on a stressful day like today - I am up and around by now, but for some reason Tiny isn't bugging me and I haven't heard a peep from the rest of the house. I'll get antsy enough soon and go out and wash my face which will make Tiny want to go outside and then he'll need to eat and I bet that gets the ball rolling. I wouldn't be surprised if MIL and FIL are awake across the hall, but don't want to disturb me sleeping in here or SIL sleeping downstairs. But then again, I haven't even heard a hint of voices. Maybe they just sleep later than I do. Weird.

I guess I'll end here. Maybe I'll see what's on TV or read another chapter in Eclipse. I hope I'm in everyone's thoughts and prayers - I'll surely be in my own! - as I go through today. There isn't a word in the English language to describe what is going on in my heart and mind.

S.

*screams into pillow*

My in-laws aren't even here yet and already they are causing me all kinds of stress and frustration.

....deep cleansing breaths....deep cleansing breaths....

B will be here in 19 hours.

S.