Sunday

Today I:

• woke up with a sore throat.
• changed the cat's litter box and refilled her water.
• did the dishes and ran the dishwasher (it was waaaay overdue).
• returned library books.
• watched New Year's Eve.
• did a load of laundry.
• got stuff ready for work tomorrow (gift together for my supervisor and bingo game printed for my kiddos).
• walked a couple miles while talking to my best friend on the phone.
• returned a Redbox movie.
• opted out of make up and wore glasses all day.
• finished reading Shadow & Bone (good book).
• said goodbye to Brian.

Tonight

Tonight I miss my husband.

Tonight I saw Country Strong with an old friend.

Tonight I can't get this song out of my head.

I'm gonna wear you down
I'm gonna make you see
I'm gonna get to you
You're gonna give in to me


I'm gonna start a fire
You're gonna feel the heat
I'm gonna burn for you
You're gonna melt for me


Come on, come on
Into my arms
Come on, come on
Give in to me


You're gonna take my hand
Whisper the sweetest words
And if you're ever sad
I'll make you laugh
I'll chase the hurt


My heart is set on you
I don't want no one else
And if you don't want me
I guess I'll be all by myself


Come on, come on
Into my arms
Come on, come on
Give in to me


I'll use my eyes to draw you in
Until I'm under your skin
I'll use my lips, I'll use my arms
Come on, come on, come on
Give in to me
Give in to me
Give in to me


Tonight I'll go to sleep alone again.

Tonight I'll hate this deployment a little more than usual.

Give In To Me

I love everything about this video. It's from the movie Country Strong which I want to see more and more every time I hear anything about it. And, oh boy, his voice...love it!

Today I...

Saw this:

Source

I thought it was fantastic. Better than the first two by far. A perk of waiting almost a month to see it? There were 10 people in a huge theater. I love not having to sit near anyone.

My brother and I spent over 5 hours together today. I did a bit of shopping at Old Navy and the mall and we grabbed lunch together. Then I got a wicked headache that cut things short. I'm glad I finally got to see the movie though!

Tomorrow I'm getting a new cell phone. :)

In The Last Two Weeks I...

...was ordered to stop wearing contacts so my damaged corneas have a chance to heal. I'll thank the perfect storm of allergies, all day contact use and old/dirty contacts for this fun predicament.


...ordered new glasses! This is about the only upside to the whole eye fiasco.


...got a tan.


...swam...alot! This was by far my favorite part of being here.


...drove my old car (Mustang convertible!). The pink tinge on my thighs and shoulders is from my joy ride around town today. :)


...fell in love with my mom's new Jetta. I totally want one now.


...nursed Tiny back to health after he developed some blisters on his paws from the hot ground outside. It was heartbreaking.


...cancelled our Disney World trip. I'm hoping this is a catalyst for some major change in our lives.


...bought some super cute clothes. I just love summer clothes!


...took advantage of my brother's discount. One of the only perks of him working his butt off for a poorly run clothing mega company in NYC.


...made the decision to seriously pursue graduate school.


...walked countless loops around the neighborhood with my mom.


...walked on the treadmill enough at the gym to watch Star Trek from beginning to end on my tiny iPod screen.


...watched the Lost finale with my dad.


...rented many movies from RedBox. It helps having one 2 minutes from my parents' house. I finally got to see: Dear John, Up In The Air, Crazy Heart and The Blind Side.


...saw Marmaduke on the big screen. It was totally worth the $6 just to laugh at the Great Dane -isms.


...ate. And ate. And ate. I hit up all my fav places and then some.


...made chicken and dumplings for my parents. It was delish!


...avoided anyone outside of my family. Sorry guys. I needed to hibernate.


...watched the Glee finale. Superb. Can't get "Faithfully" out of my head.


...went on a day trip to Fort Worth with Mom.


...was slapped (softly) by my mother. She was killing a gnat that had landed on my cheek. At the time, it was hilarious.


...went bowling. I broke 100 in both games!


...voluntarily washed the Mustang. She looks much prettier now.




It's back to LA tomorrow. Back to reality. Back to real life.

Leaving again..and Christmas recap.

I am taking a break from packing to do this blog. Yes, I am packing...again.



First, my Christmas recap. Christmas is always perfect in this house. We woke up to a breakfast of cinnamon rolls, plain ole rolls and hot chocolate. Dad played Santa in his classic plaid nightshirt and we all opened our presents in an orderly fashion. I think we all made out pretty well. The men got alot of clothes while Mom and I got alot of kitchen gadgets. I came away with a crockpot, an ice cream scoop, magnetic kitchen clips, a basting brush, a nightgown, a robe, black flats, a metal star, placemats, two pairs of earrings, a picture frame with picture, the Twilight book set, a white button up, a chopping kitchen thing, a bread maker, and the David Cook CD. I think that's everything. I had to buy 3 big storage bins yesterday so I can get it all home in the truck. I have accumulated so many things - not just from Christmas - over the last 2 and 1/2 weeks that those 3 bins (plus a wrapping paper container) are full.



I still have clothes and bathroom stuff to pack as well as the Wii, but that won't take me long. I am so very sad to be saying good bye to here again. I know it will be awhile until I am here like this again. There is just something about being with my family with no agenda or plan. We have so much fun together and I cherish each and every one of them. They love me without question, defend me to any end, and laugh with me and anything and everything. They are the reason I am who I am today. I am not everyone's cup of tea, but they love me, so I love me. I will miss them something awful. I hope that everything with Brian coming home happens fast so I don't have too much time to think there. I also hope I can find homes for everything in boxes so the house doesn't feel so...out of order. Oh, and I definitely hope that my long drive tomorrow is uneventful.



I guess I should resume packing and watch the end of Miracle on ABC. Next time I'll be coming to you from Louisiana again.



S.

Rain, Rain, Go Away!

It is a rather dreary day today here in LA. It's been raining on and off since late last night with the nice addition of high winds which blows said rain onto normally dry covered patios. Super fun with Tiny.

Right now I am vegging out on my bed watching Transformers on HBO. Have I mentioned how I get HBO on channel 7 in my bedroom, but downstairs on my digital cable, channel 7 doesn't exist? Weird, huh? I have packed everything I can pack tonight. I managed to fit a ton of clothes in my duffel that will hopefully last me the 2-3 weeks at home. Electronics and daily bathroom necessities are the only things left to pack and there should be enough room.

I'll have alot to do tomorrow morning. I need to lock up my trashcan, pick up 1-2 poos in the backyard, unlock the back gate so the lawn guys can get back there, throw away any food that will go bad, and unplug everything.

I almost forgot - I still need to pack everything for Tiny. I'm planning on packing about a week's worth of food so I don't mooch off the parents the entire time. I also need to pack his meds, treats, and make sure not to forget his leash.

I'm a pretty efficient packer (I make list within list) so it should all get done rather quickly at the crack of dawn tomorrow. I am shooting to leave as early as possible (by 6am) so I can hit the least amount of traffic and get around DFW by lunch time. I just looked up sunrise tomorrow for here and it's not til 7am. Guess I'll be driving for an hour or so in the dark. Hmm. I'd rather drive in morning dark than night dark. I also hope that when I hit Shreveport around 8:30 that there isn't alot of morning traffic. I'll just go and plug along and get home when I get home.

Ok, I guess I'll end here. I got sidetracked looking at maps and figuring out how to get home. Don't mind me. Coming to you next from the grand state of Texas!

S.

Lots of new things today

It is the last day of September. This means that tomorrow is pay day. October means that it will really start to feel like fall. October also means I am officially 2 months away from getting our house in Louisiana. Everytime a month ends and another one begins I am amazed at how quickly the month went by. I remember the beginning of 2008 (the year without Brian) and almost in the blink of an eye it is now the eve of October. Before I know it it will be Halloween and then it will be Thanksgiving and the one year anniversary of Brian leaving and then it will be Christmas and moving day and then 2008 will end. Wow.

Ironman came out today. I bought it. Brian and I saw it while he was home and we both really liked it so obviously it needed to be added to our collection. I watched it with Dad tonight and he liked it as well. I like how I have never read a comic book but I like all the comic book movies. Weird.

I also bought Nicholas Sparks' new book today (The Lucky One). I almost didn't because hardcover books are relatively expensive (it was more than Ironman), but I have every other book he's written and most of them are hardcover. I'll just add it to my stack of books to read and get to it eventually. The story sounds really interesting according to the book jacket. I'm sure I'll let you know when I get to it.

Know what else I picked up today? NKOTB Greatest Hits!! I haven't gotten a chance to listen to it all yet, but I will in the very near future.

I heard from Brian this morning. I'm not really sure what we talked about. I know he apologized for not talking to me everyday. Sometimes he's quite the sweetie. He also said he liked knowing that I got out and did things from time to time and that I wasn't sitting around waiting for him to get on the computer. The truth is, I go stir crazy if I'm here all day everyday. I have to get out. Sadly, the "getting out" I am referring to is either the gym or buying things. No, I don't have a shopping problem. I just need things from time to time or I need to pick things up for Mom which she then pays me back for. I'm actually out of errands for now so I have no plans for tomorrow. Maybe I can just plan on sleeping past 8:30.

Tiny got in a fight with a neighborhood dog tonight. I didn't walk with Mom tonight because Dad and I were watching Ironman, but Keith went with her. Apparently they ran into the medium sized black dog that lives at the corner of Fairway Oaks Blvd and Woodlake. Tiny won. There wasn't any blood. I kinda wish I coulda seen it. Keith says that Tiny had the other dogs head in his mouth and was pushing it down. I guess I can trust Tiny to defend my honor from now on. Ha! Be proud, Brian.

Alright, it's time to watch House and Greek that I taped from earlier. Goodnight!

S.

Across the Universe

Parts of this movie were a little to psychedelic-trippy for me which means I probably won't go out and buy it or anything, but the music was phenomenal. I have always had some fav Beatles songs and I loved what the movie did with them. Enjoy some of my favorite songs/clips from the movie:











S.

Winter Weather

It's official: Abilene is freezing.

Seriously though, it's 30 degrees right now and it's been precipitating on and off for hours. I haven't left the house all day. I'm in the middle of my 3rd movie. Overall, a gloriously boring day.

I signed up for Blockbuster All-Access tonight. This means I'll be getting DVDs delivered to the house for $12/mo. I'm pretty excited about this. Hopefully I'll get a good movie in the mailbox soon.

i got a big envelope in the mail today that looked like the big envelope Keith got with his old passport in it. I had no idea what it could be and when I opened it, my birth certificate was in there. I have no idea how this got out of my possession or where it has been. I know I brought it with me to get my passport, but I'm 99% sure I got it back and returned it to the envelope that houses my marriage license. Maybe I dropped it or accidentally left it and some good Samaritan made sure it was returned to me. I'm rather grateful for this because if I ever needed it - which I'm sure I would at some point - I would have had to contact the state of New York and figure out how to go about getting a replacement. So, thank you to whoever was kind enough to make sure my birth certificate was returned!

I'm watching Daredevil that I taped off of FX earlier. It's a little...heavy and dark. I think I might need to follow it up with a rom-com of some kind so I won't have nightmares about leather-clad comic book heroes.

I'm still stressing over the whole job thing. I keep feeling like there is a perfect job for me out there that I just haven't thought of yet. I want a job that is understanding and flexible about Brian being deployed. I want a job that I enjoy for both the work and the people. I want a job that pays well and gives me some sort of credit for completing my under-grad degree.

I was also looking at the calendar earlier and by the time I finish training at JCP it will be March. If Brian really still comes home in April, I'll only be working at JCP for a month by then. Should I just wait? I don't know what to do. I go back and forth all the time.

Brian and I have been together for 20 months or 1 year and 8 months tomorrow (the 17th). I almost didn't realize. We will be married for 5 months on Thursday the 21st. Time flies. Ha.

Today was payday for Brian. I went to check to see how much he got and make sure it went in correctly and noticed that yesterday a random $1,000 was put in his account. I think it's from the military, but I haven't a clue why. Good thing I'm not planning on spending it on anything in case it was a mistake.

I filed our taxes today too. We should be getting $4,015 back. I'm pretty sure it's every single dollar either of us paid in taxes this year. We'll just add that to the nearly 10k already residing in the bank. We're just putting away a nice little nest egg while Brian's gone!

Alright, I'm out.

S.

Romantic Comedies.

I used to watch Rom-Coms for the meeting. That pivotal moment when the two main characters meet for the first time...or see each other romantically for the first time. I would watch the courtship. I would watch the lust blossom into love. I would forget that these two people did not truly exist on this planet. I would believe with my whole heart that they were somewhere not so far from me living their idyllic life. I watched the movie to watch two people fall in love.

I watch Rom-Coms now for the ending. I no longer focus on the courtship so much as the happily ever after. I watch them fall in love, overcome obstacles and then everything is wonderful. I've always loved Rom-Coms, but I've been craving them like crazy lately. After watching Catch and Release, I stopped and really thought about why I was watching so many of these cookie-cutter movies. I think it's because I'm past the courtship, the falling in love parts. I am now in this horrible limbo between the falling and the forever. My happily ever after still seems a little out of my grasp. So, I watch these movies and watch these fictional characters fall madly in love and leave me with their happy smiles.

It's a double-edged sword, these movies. I can't help but smile when I'm watching them, but as soon as the credits begin to roll my thoughts travel thousands of miles to Iraq, to the place where my love resides. I miss him less when I'm watching and more when it's over.

I feel like there are two of me. There's the one that is married and in love and happy. Then there's the one that is alone, scared and insecure. I want so desperately to be the former every single day, but in reality, I'm mostly the latter. Maybe it's not healthy to just be waiting for my life to start, but I'm still trying to figure out what to do in the meantime. This is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to go through, to navigate. I don't doubt that I will come out on the other end stronger, but I have no idea how I will get there.

Goodnight.

S.

:D

That Thing You Do.
I'm watching this movie right now and remembering why I love it so much.
Merry Christmas Eve.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

I got another phone call today. That's two calls in 25 hours. I think it's a record. I'm 99% sure that I won't be getting another one for quite some time, tho. We aren't allowed to discuss anything - and I mean anything - but we know each other better than that...I can tell when something is up. I'm pretty sure they're leaving Kuwait and heading to Iraq in the next couple days. This means that everything gets shaken up again. On the up side - I should get a good address soon so I can start sending him letters at least. One day at a time.

So far I have been completely unproductive. Tomorrow (today) I need to buckle down and get some serious paper writing and studying done. I have all day Monday too, but I want to have all my papers completely finished by then so I can study for my Holocaust final and get ready for my other two finals. I can't believe graduation is so close. Wow.

I finished watching The Notebook before this and I think it might be a good idea if I boycott the romantic movies for awhile. I miss Brian even more now. I miss having a conversation without speaking. It's amazing how much is taken for granted.

We put up a bunch of the Christmas decorations today. It wore me out! The ornaments still need to be put on the tree and the snow village still needs to be put out, but it'll probably be finished by nightfall. I love Christmas time. I mean, it's not quite as cheery this year for me, but I still love it. If only I could get my shopping done. Ugh. I think it's gonna be waiting til either after finals or after graduation. We'll see.

Ok, I wanted to be asleep by now, but, well, I'm not. So, goodnight.

S.

Pet Peeve of the Day:
When news stations that we rely on for breaking news and weather misspell common words such as "coming" (comming). A college degree is not required to be able to spell check.