Tiny

On Monday, November 22, 2010, my precious Tiny went to puppy heaven.

I made the incredibly, horrendously, depressing decision to end his suffering.

I fell in love with him over 4 years ago when he came into my life.

He brought immeasurable joy to my life every single day.

I miss him terribly. I think about him all the time.

The rest of this post will be pictures and memories that I never want to forget.

I'm sorry I stepped away from the blog.

I needed to wallow and try to be happy again.

Plus, I wanted to make sure I took my time with this post.

He deserves it.

I still remember the feel of your soft fur on my lips when I would kiss the top of your head.

I miss your big floppy ears.

I miss the sound they'd make when you'd shake your head.

I still expect to hear

your nails on the hardwood floors,

your snores in the night,

your "chewbacca" noises when you're hungry,

your bark at every doorbell or knock.

"Grandpa" misses "giving birth to a head" every time he sat down at the table.

You were so gentle for being so big.

There wasn't a mean bone in your body.

You never meant to step on my toes.

Everyone always laughed when they learned your name.

I always blamed the name choice on your father.

I can't imagine you with another name now.

You were such a playful puppy long after the puppy stage should have ended.

You always made me laugh.

You were the best travelling companion.

How many miles did you travel with me between LA and TX?

Thousands.

You loved your toys.

I had so much fun buying you toys and watching you play with them.

I can't bring myself to get rid of any of them yet.

They still smell like you.

Your hair is still everywhere.

I know I'll still be finding little hairs years from now.

I'll think of you every time.

You loved to sit on laps, couches and chairs.

You would just back yourself up and sit down like you belonged there.

People would always laugh when they witnessed it for the first time.

Scratching your white spot was the key to your happiness.

Anytime anyone did it, you'd stretch your nose up to the sky and become absolutely still.

You loved your "Nana".

If ever I couldn't find you, chances were you'd be laying in the other room with her.

You got so excited to ride in the truck.

You never cared where we were going or how long the ride would be.

I'd crack the windows and you'd sit in the back sniffing the air, trying to figure out what all the smells were.

I snapped this last picture on the way to the vet on that last morning.

For that ride I thought you deserved to have the window rolled all the way down for once.

I miss you so much Tinyboy.

How can I ever say goodbye to you?

I thought you'd be mine for 8 years, not 4.

I hope you're running around in a big field somewhere in puppy heaven.

I hope you're watching me. There is a puppy heaven, right?

I've had such a bad week without you.

It's really unfair.

You were the best dog.

My life was better for knowing you,

for "mothering" you,

for loving you.

I'm so sorry.

I love you.