Some background first.
Until 18 months ago, I had been a student my entire life. I always did well in school. I graduated in the top 3% of my high school class. I graduated Summa Cum Laude from college. Every friend I have (there aren't many) knows all this about me. I'm a total nerd and I miss learning in a classroom everyday.
I also come from a strong, close family. My dad was in the Air Force until I was 10 and we ended up staying in the same town with the Air Force Base he retired from. We don't have any extended family here so we only had each other to depend on. We cheer each other on, we build each other up, and we definitely take care of each other. My parents are still married (25 years). My brother graduated from college in May. I think we are all rather successful.
Now, to my point.
I feel really out of place in the Army wife life.
I have yet to meet anyone I have anything in common with. I imagine that every fellow wife I meet is judging me for being successful. Um, why am I doing that? The short answer - I don't know.
It is no secret that there are many Army wives that are really young, really immature, and really uneducated. I knew this going in.
Every now and then Brian gets invited to someone's house for a barbecue and he feels like he needs to attend (for whatever reason). I feel like I need to go with him. I tell myself that I can't turn my back on opportunities to meet people - what if this time is the time I meet my new BFF? I always go and I always survive.
I have noticed, though, that I sit at these houses and I watch what I say. I don't want to give away that I graduated from college and am a gigantic nerd. I want these stupid people to think I am like them. WHY???
I can't believe I was actually thinking these things. I can't believe I let myself.
I have found that it is hard to be an educated, responsible, non-partying Army wife. I feel like I am the minority. At some point I started looking at myself the same way I thought others were looking at me. I need to stop caring.
This is the #1 thing I want to change when I'm back in Louisiana in August. I refuse to live one more day there feeling like I am out of place and odd. I am who I am and I need to live my life however I want to live it and ignore everyone else. Let them judge, I know who I am.
S.
4 comments:
Oh girl you are NOT alone!! Try sitting around at some stupid coffee or tea event explaining to people that no your husband will not be staying in the army because your career is more important to the two of you and he will be getting out so that you can work a job you love. Ha! That causes jaws to drop. Having a doctorate and no kids at the age of 25 as a mil wife is sacrilege. I am SO with you on this post!!
Don't worry, you aren't alone. You'll find ladies who are just like you and who are also worried about fitting in because they aren't uneducated wild partiers :)
I hear you on this. Besides Sara and Lindsay that I met off of Blogger, I have yet to meet in person any wives that I have a lot in common with. Most of them that are my age have kids and since I don't it seems we don't have a lot to talk about. The younger girls without kids are so immature and wild that I don't even want to get to know them. Too bad I wasn't at Polk the same time you were! I have a feeling we would have gotten along great.
I do hope that you find someone that you have a lot in common with. I know how hard it is to not having a girl friend where you are stationed. I still don't have one here.
I'll jump on this wagon too. I always cringe when I think about what stereotypes people will view me through. I usually don't label myself as an army wife-because it's not really who I am.
I've been lucky to meet a few good fellow army wives that I get along with (but, of course, as the way of the army we have all moved to different places). It's hard at time to find a common connection. The big one for me is kids and having a career. No, I don't have kids, don't want kids right now and yes I want to work. Being a house wife drives me up the wall.
You are not alone. We are not alone. Yay. Now if only I could be near or find these other oddballs.
I'm not an army/military wife, although growing up as a military brat, I am familiar with the stereotype =P I think even back in high school, you and I were always a bit oddball/nerds. It's why we get a long so long. Don't worry, you'll meet fellow oddballs soon enough!
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