Grandparents.

An hour ago I ventured to the mailbox in my icky robe to get the mail. Figures someone would drive by right at that moment. That's not the point of this story, however. In the mail I found Christmas cards from my grandparents and great-grandmother. Throughout my entire life each of us has gotten a card with a check in it for every Christmas and birthday. There were even years when we got cards for such trivial holidays as Halloween and Valentine's day with a $5 bill inside. We always lived far away from my grandparents and they aren't very lovey-dovey people, so these cards and the money bestowed on us was always a symbol of their love. My brother and I always knew we'd have a nice chunk of change to spend on ourselves after Christmas compliments of the grandparents.

This year I pulled out two cards - one from the grandparents and one from the great-grandmother - and they both were addressed to my parents "and family". This is the first year that our entire family has gotten a bulk card from either of them and since when are Keith and I "and family"? I thought about saving the cards for when Mom got home at 4, but I was too curious to see what was inside. Sure enough, in each card there are 3 checks - one for my parents, one for me, and one for Keith. They're all for the same amounts they always are so no change there. I mean, I guess I could argue that the economy sucks and money is tight so maybe my grandparents wanted to save the $10 in cards and stamps for my brother and I, but I know that my grandparents have more money stashed away (unwisely) in CDs and other crazy investments that they can darn well afford the cards. Who knows what the real rationalization behind that was.

The other thing I noticed that really made me sad was what was written inside the card from my grandparents. I noticed my grandmother's handwriting has gotten sloppier and started showing her age. It was a card for a daughter and son-in-law (my parents) and inside my grandmother wrote "Dear [Mom], [Dad] and family," Again, my brother and I have been lumped into the general category of "family". Maybe the cat and dogs are included in there too. There also wasn't any message. She usually underlines random words in the card that she wants to be emphasized, but not this year. It was simply signed "Love, Mom and Dad".

I'm not angry, upset, or disappointed. I am just plain ole sad. I know my grandparents are getting old and I know this fact is much harder on my mom than it is on me. I don't fault them for downgrading to one card or leaving mine and Keith's names off the card and envelope. I am just sad that it has happened. At this point in my life, I would rather have a card like in years past than have the check from this year. I don't need their money, and truth be told, I don't need them either, but I'd like to have them around. My grandmother is slowly - and surely - losing her mind. I don't mean that to be a joke at all, I am dead serious when I type that. She is a shell of the woman she used to be. This has put much - if not all - of the burden of their lives on my grandfather who is not the most personable or thoughtful man. Therefore I should not be surprised when he is put in charge of cards that they downsize.

I could probably write a novel about my grandparents and the dysfunction that lives there, but it's much to complicated to get it all typed out. Besides, what good would it do? They are who they are and at this point, there's not a dang thing anybody can do about it. I hope and pray everyday that they will show up for my wedding in August, but I know not to expect too much. They are old, after all, and the show will go on with or without them. If I have to send them a photo album of the wedding, I will. I'd really rather them be there, though. They used to visit every year and we are quickly closing in on 2 years since any of us have seen them.

Guess it's just a sad, lazy day around here.

S.

Oh, and neither of them can grasp the concept that I got married to Brian over a year ago. Checks are still made out to me with my maiden name making it super fun to cash them!