He's Legal!

My husband turns 21 today. He is my anchor, my counterpart, my sanity, and my heart. To commemorate the 21 years he has graced this earth, I thought I would share 21 things I love/admire/remember about him.

1. He loves plaid. 95% of the (civilian) shirts he wears are some form of plaid. The vast majority are pearl snaps. I love this about him, but it also drives me crazy. I've never seen the boy in a polo. My goal is to get him in a non-plaid, non-snapped shirt for our engagement pictures. Even if I succeed in convincing him to wear a solid-colored shirt, I'm willing to bet that he'll never be as comfortable as he is when he's wearing plaid.

2. He calls me "babe". He calls me this alot. I used to call him babe, but I soon realized we were saying "babe" to each other many times a day. Since then I've made an effort to use terms of endearment besides "babe". I use "sweetie" or "hon(ey)". I'm not even sure if he notices. Even after all the months we've been together, I still get a hint of butterflies everytime he says/types "babe". It may not be the most creative pet name, but it's mine and it was given to me by him. I wouldn't want to be called anything else.

3. He bought Tiny. I remember everything that led up to the purchase of Tiny. We had just reconciled after a pretty serious rough patch in our relationship. The last time we had gone through something rough, we'd gotten tattoos. What could we possibly do to top that this time? Oh, how about get a $500 dog?! Brian had decided he wanted a dog at some point and when he makes up his mind, there isn't much that can stop him. He wanted a dog that was his, that only came when he called him, that wouldn't do anything or go to anybody without his permission, that was with him every moment possible. That (large) puppy version of Tiny rode home on my lap and was never really Brian's dog after that. Brian may have paid for him, but he quickly became my dog and kept me as sane as possible through all the months Brian and I have been apart. I'd rather hug Brian any day, but Tiny is a decent substitute.

4. He invented the "backyard club" at the South 33rd house. For some reason, he thought drinking half a bottle of Jager in the form of Jager bombs was a good idea. It all managed to hit at once and, thankfully, he made it outside which is where he stayed the majority of the night. He actually passed out in the grass and to this day jokingly blames me for leaving him out there. Um, I couldn't move him if I wanted to, especially when he's passed out and dead weight. I slept on the couch that night so I could hear him if he got up, came inside, or left. Somewhere around 4 I checked on him, woke him up and got him inside and on the living room floor. We weren't even technically together at this point. I guess I thought he was worth it.

5. He asked me on a date. I still remember where I was when he called that Wednesday in June. We had spoken every night since we met, but he called me while I was at work which was unusual. He called to ask me on a date for that night. I don't have a clue what precipitated this or if he asked anyone for advice, but he called and he asked. I had never, and still have never, been asked out on a real official date like that. We went to Fuji's and I think ended up at my house. I'm sure he was nervous and I know I was. I respect him for calling me that day more than any other boy/man I have ever dated.

6. He accepted that my brother is gay. To this day I am still unsure why I told Brian about Keith so soon. We couldn't have been dating more than a month when I spilled the beans on the biggest secret my family was keeping. We were having a serious conversation about something and I can't remember what it was about anymore. I know that I was sitting on my blue couch by the hallway and he was on the floor. It was the first time I had verbalized that my brother would never marry a woman. I waited for him to be disgusted or have some negative reaction, but he surprised me by being understanding and understandably shocked. I probably should have waited to tell him, but at the same time, I'm extremely glad I got it out on the table so early. I think it might have been more difficult to drop that bomb later when the relationship had gotten more serious. When I was dealing with what this meant for me and my family, Brian was there to listen to me and offer his open-minded advice and opinions. I am continually grateful that he was so open to the news and subsequently became an integral member of the family.

7. He bought me a rose for no reason. He did this once, and only once, so far in our relationship. Somewhere around month 4 or so, he showed up at my house with a single red rose that he had picked up at Albertson's. We hadn't had a fight and it wasn't my birthday or our anniversary. He just got me a rose because he wanted to. Like the asking me on a date thing, he is the only guy I've dated to get me a flower of any kind for absolutely no reason.

8. He challenges me -- in a good way. I like a challenge; I like saving people. This led me into an abusive (not physically) and destructive relationship for over 2 years. Brian taught me that someone can challenge me, but care for me at the same time. Brian is stubborn and so am I which leads to some rather heated debates/arguments. I know what hate looks like in an argument; I've seen it before. Brian argues with me, but loves me through every second of it. He never tries intentionally to hurt me when we disagree. He made me see that I can be challenged by someone and help save someone without feeling belittled and devalued at the same time. I'm lucky I found him because I know I wouldn't be happy in a relationship without challenge, but I also wouldn't be happy in an abusive relationship. It's hard to find a balance.

9. He survived (and is surviving) long-distance with me. We wrote more letters to each other while he was in boot camp than I ever imagined we would. He wrote me a letter nearly everyday. He even drew me a diagram of his bay which got to me a couple days too late to be of any use at his graduation. He wrote to me about what he was doing, how he was doing, and how much I meant to him. I loved him when he left that April morning, but I fell more in love with him with each word in each letter. I have a folder bursting with all the letters I received from him. I hope to someday compile them into a keepsake book of some kind. Most people don't have records of their relationships like we have. I'm so glad he cared so much about me to write me when, in all reality, he didn't have to.

10. He broke up with me the day before my birthday. Yes, this started one of the most turbulent months of our relationship, but I also remember this time fondly. I was technically single on my 21st birthday which means I had to take a free tequila shot courtesy of some guy that Jamie knew, but I somehow managed to meet up with Brian that night and get stuck at the horsebarn in the rain in the wee hours of the morning. I probably wouldn't remember my birthday so fondly if Brian and I hadn't worked out, but it was a crazy night. I think our parents thought we were crazy. My mom had to pick us up in the rain in the early morning and his dad had to go fix his truck the next day so he could get it home.

11. He went to NY with me. I think I always knew that the man that would fly across the country to meet my crazy extended family would be the one I was meant to be with. For Christmas 2006 he paid for my ticket to NYC for Spring Break '07. We were there for 4 days and 3 nights. He endured a day in Manhattan, 3 nights in my Aunt's basement on a pullout couch, and a day trip to New Jersey. I know he probably hated parts of it and we even fought about his attitude, but I realize now I was expecting too much. I had thrown him completely out of his comfort zone geographically and had asked him to charm the pants off of two sets of aunts/uncles, 4 cousins, and one set of grandparents. We left after those 4 days with those 10 people loving him. He may not have loved Manhattan, but I think he loved my family and I love him for that. It's nice to be able to talk about the family that means so much to me and he can ask questions like "Now, is TJ the one that lives in New Jersey?" To be able to fully understand and love me, you have to understand and love the family that molded me. He was a trooper.

12. He joined the military. I have always loved a man in military uniform. Blame it on growing up in the Air Force. The military is a safe haven for me. I feel at home on military installations and I know how to spell commissary (2 M's, 2 S's). I had often thought that a man in the military (preferably AF since I live in Abilene, home of Dyess AFB) would be a good catch. I was fine, though, with Brian who, it seemed, would be in Abilene forever. He shocked me when he started pursuing the Army avenue seriously. I tried to convince him that AF was a better way to go, but he's stubborn that one, so he stuck with Army. When everything was finalized and he was leaving in April, I realized that maybe God was giving me what I'd always wanted, just not in the packaging I'd expected. Just like that, this guy that I was falling for hard and fast had become even more perfect for me. He would be a hero and he would be a part of a group of people that I fiercely respected. I have never been so proud and in awe of someone.

13. He is one year and seven months younger than me. I had dated guys younger than me before. I had even dated a guy that was in my brother's grade, but it was short lived. As a rule, I tried not to date guys that were going to graduate from high school in 2005. Girls should date guys older anyway, right? I was 20 when I met Brian who was 19. When I was made aware of his birthday, I had to make myself get past the fact that we were so far apart in age. Luckily he hadn't gone to the same high school that Keith and I did, but it was still weird to be dating a boy who was closer to Keith's age than mine. I was almost ashamed of it and didn't really want anyone to know. I had to do some soul searching and soon came to the conclusion that I didn't care. He was interesting and seemed to like me and that is really all that matters. It's still weird for me sometimes, but that's just how life works out.

14. He doesn't eat pie. He does, however, LOVE brownies. I love me a good apple pie or chocolate pudding pie. He will not eat pie. I understand not liking fruit pies, but chocolate pudding pie? It's instant chocolate pudding in a pie shell. Do like I do: eat the pudding then eat the shell. If you do it that way, its not even really like a pie. Also, if you make a 13x9 of brownies in a house that Brian inhabits, expect them to last exactly, oh, 24 (or so) hours. He loves those things. He loves them so much that he experiments with them. He dreamed up the idea of adding peanut butter chips to the batter - UHmazing! I wonder what would happen if I made brownies in a pie shell. I should try it.

15. He introduced me to House. We often argue over what to watch on TV, especially when we've been apart for an extended period of time. You see, I get used to watching whatever I dang well please, but he comes along and has different plans. Many months ago, he stopped the channel flipping on a rerun of House on USA. I loved it. I love it so much that I have been renting the DVDs of Season 1 from Blockbuster and watching it from the very beginning. I thought I loved CSI:, but it cannot hold a candle to my love for House. I have been known to watch 6 DVD episodes in one sitting. Perhaps it's an obsession. If it's an obsession, blame it on Brian. If it's just a healthy loyalty, then thank Brian.

16. He got me to get a tattoo. I had been toying with the idea of getting a tattoo for a few months, but I hadn't committed to anything since, well, it's permanent. Give us a healthy dose of ex-gf drama, and BAM we both end up with new tattoos. Thankfully they were not matching. He wanted a new tattoo, he asked me to go along. I (trying to look cool) mentioned I had thought about getting one. He (trying to rile me up) mentioned I was thinking about getting one to the (very persuasive) tattoo artist. Ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom, Sarah has a tattoo and is $100 poorer. I have never once regretted it. I wonder, sometimes, if I would regret it if Brian and I hadn't worked out. Guess it doesn't really matter.

17. He blindsided me with the M-word. We had been dating for almost a year and serious discussion of marriage had never (ever) come up. It took 6 months for regular use of the L-word. Everything in our relationship was laid back and relaxed. I liked this and was in no hurry to get married so it just never came up. We communicated almost completely by letters when he was in boot camp. I received a letter from him proposing the idea of getting married. He wanted my thoughts on the subject. I (pretty much) freaked out. I thought for sure he was kidding or he was missing me so much that he was talking crazy. I wrote him back some nonsense that probably broke his heart. Luckily, I eventually came around the idea and a few short months later we were hitched.

18. He made me see the need for a good pair of cowboy boots. I would never have set foot in Cavender's if I wasn't dating a guy who wore cowboy boots whenever he wasn't working. I spent $130 of my Christmas money on the best pair of Ariat boots. I wear them alll the time and I have been known to highly recommend the investment in a pair of good cowboy boots to even the most preppy person. My winter foot wardrobe was transformed with the addition of my Ariats.

19. He let my dad tag along when he was shopping for a new truck. My dad has needed a young man to take interest in the things he loves because Keith has always been uninterested. Dad loves shopping for new vehicles and therefore had a blast driving around and price-checking '07 trucks with Brian. Brian could have very easily gone with his own father, but he wanted my dad's expertise and trusted his opinions. Dad loved it and I loved Brian for letting him be a part of the process.

20. He owned a horse. The horse's name was Bailey. She was gorgeous. Horses have always been mysterious to me. I was never around them growing up so I've never been comfortable around them. Brian bought this horse and suddenly I was learning a whole new horse language and I was learning how to be around horses. I will never just jump on a horse and take off around a field, but I respect horses. I know how to approach them and I know how to rub their heads between their eyes. I know that if their ears are back, watch out! I even rode her a couple times. I preferred it when Brian was leading her around like I was on a pony ride. One time I rode her all on my own and I did something to spook her and she took off. I stopped her all on my own and I didn't fall off. It says alot about a man who can take care of an animal that large and consuming. I know he is capable of taking care of me and our family one day because he kept Bailey fed, brushed, washed and ridden.

21. He loves me unconditionally. I always had boyfriends which means I know what parts of me are possible deal breakers in relationships. Brian loved me despite everything that could have been a problem. He is ok with a Catholic wedding. He is fine with my brother's sexual orientation. He didn't care that I was older than he was. He loved me when I was bitchy or when I said something he didn't want to hear. It takes time to trust someone to love you no matter what. We have had to weather some storms and sort out some sticky situations. Everything has been building the integrity of our relationship and testing our commitment to each other. I know I love him and I know he loves me. I trust him to not up and leave me over something petty. I know he will speak his mind. I know that he loved every aspect of who I am. He is my security blanket. I always have him in my corner cheering me on or standing up for me.


Brian, I never expected to fall in love with you. I never expected to marry you. I never expected you to become a major player in my life. You are the most amazing man I've ever met. You make me laugh and you sometimes even make me cry. You make me the happiest gal around. I am eternally grateful that you came into this world 21 long years ago. You have forever altered my world. I haven't a clue where I'd be today without you. Thank you for rocking my world and sweeping me off my feet. I love you more than any of these words could express. I cannot wait until you are in my arms again (even if it is only for a couple weeks). I am yours. You are mine.

Happy 21st birthday, baby.

Love,
Your Wife