#200

I think today might be a bit of a more coherent writing day. That, however, doesn't mean I know what I'm going to say.

I'm still stressing out about wedding stuff, but I think it's getting a tad - just a tad - better. I felt really off the last few days and I have a sneaking suspicion that stress was the culprit. I have to be super stressed to have it affect me physically. There have been times in this wedding planning that I want to call the whole thing off and say "screw it!" We're already legally married and have been througha whole heckuva lot since then. When everything gets stressful and hard it's easy to think that having a big wedding is frivolous and an unnecessary burden on everyone involved. Thank God B is a good sport...most of the time anyway! I'll just keep hoping that when the day finally comes that it all suddenly becomes more than worth it.

It is currently 9:40 in the morning. I've let Tiny out and fed him, ate breakfast (cereal with a side of nutella - ha!), and threw dinner in the crockpot. Have I seen my husband yet? Nope. It's crazy how much he can sleep on his days off. Everyday like clockwork Tiny wakes me up around 8 and more often than not I get up with him.

Sometimes I feel like an old woman. Well, older than my years anyway. Actually, I often feel like I'm not so young anymore. I know it's crazy. I'm only 23. The big 2-4 is still 6 months away at that. I think it's being surrounded by all these Army wives. It's easy to feel old when you're 23 with only one dog and zero kids. If anyone is my age they definitely have at least one child and it seems everyone loves maxing out on the number of pets they can have. I start thinking about when would be a good time for us to start a family and geez...that's a scary thought! Believe me, it's not happening any time soon. I feel nothing even close to ready. I think that pesky biological clock is starting to tick, tho. I feel the push of time. Silly, I know. I'll wait until I feel ready and like we're in a good place before trying. I do everything else intelligently, no doubt I'll do this the same way.

I guess now that we're pushing 10 o'clock I should jump in the shower and wake the hubs up.

S.

P.S. This is my 200th post. Woohoo!