Some reflections about tonight:

1. I hate smokers. Well, not the smoker personally, but their smelly habit.

2. I'm an emotional wreck as I'm counting down the hours until Brian is home. I feel anxious and excited which both make me jittery.

3. Apparently Tanner and Kim are aware that Greg needs to back off. I took off literally seconds before Greg showed up. I could see him parking in my rearview mirror as I drove away. The last thing I need right now is to deal with Greg.

4. When I'm an emotional trainwreck, I shouldn't meet new people. I probably seemed like the most boring person alive.

5. I was told I don't look old enough to be married. When I revealed my ripe old age of 22, I was told I don't look that old. I think this whole looking younger than my age thing will come in handy in the future.

6. Shannon only talks to me when she wants some info. Tonight she wanted to know when Brian would be home. I told her and she ceased communication. Nice.


I hadn't seen Kim in like a week so when she called and wanted me to come by some house she was hanging out at with Tanner, I said I would. I didn't really feel like getting out of my bed, but I've been in a weird mood all day and figured I owed it to her and maybe it would get me out of my funk. I drove over there, watched a round of some drinking game and bounced. I only knew Kim and Tanner and they were only 2 out of about 10. I get really uncomfortable and not very fun when I'm outnumbered by people I don't know. I don't know why but I feel like hibernating until Brian is here. I'm going through the motions...sleeping...getting up, doing something, doing nothing...showering sometimes....cleaning something...getting ready for bed, falling asleep (not well). I know I should calm down because time will fly once he is here. Maybe that is part of my problem. I want him here and I want that initial anxiety and possible awkwardness to be over. I think it is like the beginning stages of a relationship when it's uncomfortable, but so exciting and sweet that you need to force yourself to enjoy it sometimes. I think maybe I need to stop rushing and try to enjoy the anxiety and nerves because they will be gone before I know it and I won't know what happened or where the time went. Wow, this is longer than I expected.

S.

P.S. My birthday is 4 months from tomorrow/today. Start thinking of gift ideas now! jk jk. [: