Shit!

This copied from an email I sent to Brian:

"It rained/sleeted/hailed all last night and this morning but started to clear up around lunch time so we all packed up to go to my house to pack and stuff. I put Tiny in his crate cause no one was home and we were gone about 2 hours. When Mom and I got home, Tiny greeted us at the door followed shortly by that distinct smell of shit. OMG Brian, he shit EVERYWHERE. Not just in one room everywhere but across the whole house everywhere. It wasn’t nice solid shit either, it was the wonderful runny kind that plops on the floor like mud. There was at least one plop in every single room that he could get to. Most of it was concentrated in the kitchen and the living room. There was a line of shit making a half circle around the couch in the living room. There was another half circle in the kitchen. He even went in my bathroom and left a couple plops in there on the rug. He left two by the couch in the den and another one at my parents’ bedroom door. Everywhere. It was so incredible that I was laughing. You know how laughing is closely related to crying…yeah, I laughed instead of cried. My parents and I spent TWO hours cleaning. So, basically, he somehow escaped his crate. My dad thinks he just pushed so hard on the door that it bent out and rendered the latch useless. When we got home, Tiny went immediately into the backyard and kept jumping on the back door which was pissing my mom off even further. I went out back and locked him in the side yard where the other dogs used to live. Later, while Dad was outside cleaning the crate, I was cleaning shit near the French doors in my room and saw his legs walk by and thought Dad let him out. I went outside and asked Dad, and of course, he had no let Tiny out. I investigate and he has broken a picket on the gate and escaped through that. So, now I’m standing in the backyard having no clue what to do with the freaking dog. He doesn’t have a crate, he can’t jump on the door anymore (Mom had cleaned it 15 minutes before this), and he definitely wasn’t coming in without a bath. Dad finally dragged the crate in the backyard and Tiny got into it and was subsequently hosed off by Dad before coming in for a bath in the tub. So, in one 4 hours period Tiny escaped his crate, shit everywhere, and escaped from a gated enclosure. WTF?!! It’s moments like these that he is YOUR dog. My mom was so mad and I felt so guilty. I know it wasn’t really anyone’s fault, that it just happened, but I feel terrible for bringing this dog into my parents house that shits everywhere and ruins their evening. Oh and after we cleaned up the shit Mom and I mopped the entire house that is mop-able. I did all the wood floors and Mom did the eating area and my bedroom. I bet a million bucks I’m sore tomorrow. I can even feel it starting. Don’t you wish you were here to clean up shit for 2 hours?! There’s at least one silver lining of being so far away from home."

*sigh*

S.