record.

I got one of those "_#_ men have been injured/killed in Alpha/Bravo/Charlie company. Their families have been notified. Do you have any questions?" phone calls today. It's the second one since Brian has been gone. Luckily neither one had the killed option circled, but we're up to 8 non-life-threatening injuried so far. Today's call broke the news of 6 (six) injuries - 4 yesterday and 2 today. It's easy for me to bury my head in the sand - in more ways than one - and avoid the reality of what is going on, but it's happening. It doesn't seem real sometimes. I like to pretend Brian's just gone somewhere...somewhere not scary or dangerous. The mind is a crazy thing that can rationalize anything. My mind has made it so that I haven't cried. My mind has convinced me that it will be ok, that Brian will be ok. Even as I write that, I'm not moved to tears because I have convinced myself that well. On one hand I'm glad I have that ability, because I am able to at least appear strong and survive these long months. On the other hand, however, I feel like I'm not feeling anything. Everything is dulled. It's almost like I've medicated myself - within my brain - into a haze of muddy emotions.

I also haven't heard from Brian in 6 complete days. That is our new record.

S.