We're on the downhill side of living in Louisiana. Living in this house. Soon we'll have to have serious discussions about what to do with our belongings while I'm living with my parents. What will go into storage? What should come with me? How do we get both cars back to Texas? It is constantly in the back of my mind.
Change and I are not friends. New things, places and people are hard for me. I'm shy by nature, but mix my personality with any new thing/place/person and I'm really shy. I don't like walking into unknown places and I don't like feeling like I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going. I'm sort of a control freak.
So, obviously, moving here was hard for me. It didn't help that I moved here alone at the tail end of BigD#1. (I only made it 10 days before I ran back home.) It wasn't just being far from home, it was also dealing with all the new stuff. Everything was new. I had never rented a house/apartment before. Now I had to sign a lease and deal with neighbors sharing walls with me. There was also a new vet and a new library and a new gym and a new commissary and new doctors and new New NEW! I was homesick alot and talked to my mom alot. Everything got easier once Brian was here, but there was still alot to learn.
At some point in the last few months I realized that nothing was new anymore. I knew all the streets. I got a job. I wasn't asking Brian a million questions about how to do things or where to go. (He was probably thankful.) And then, one day, quietly, sneakily, this place became home. This place became mine.
There are still many things I dislike about living here and many things I miss about Texas, but I am proud of the life I have here. I drive these streets and see soldiers in uniform and wonder how I got so lucky. I grew up in the military and always secretly wanted to marry into the military. Well, here I am.
I used to be too scared to try new things, to go out on my own. When I married Brian I knew I'd have to move away. In fact, I knew I'd have to move to Louisiana. It was a chance for me to challenge myself. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do this. I could move somewhere completely new and thrive. Thank you Army for throwing me into the deep end of the pool. Luckily I figured out how to swim.
I'll miss it here when we no longer live here. I know I'll be back after BigD#2, but we should be moving again soon after that. Our time here is limited. I will always have a soft spot for this place. We made our first married home here. We learned how to live together, take care of each other and, in many ways, love each other. I am much more confident in our marriage and in myself after spending the last 18 months here.
I guess what I've learned is that I'll be ok anywhere, especially if it's a military installation. I've also learned that it takes me about a year to get used to a new place. As long as I can push through the first 365 days, I'll be a-ok!
Now I just gotta remember to enjoy the next few months before reality sets in again.
2 comments:
I'm the same way about not liking change.. Our big move to the west coast this summer has me freaking out!
You're going to have this military wife thing down. LA was the test run and now you know you can do it! Besides, as cheesy as this sounds, it doesn't matter where "home" may be or how new it all seems. as long as you and B are together, you will be fine ;) BUT i am really happy you are coming back to texas!
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